Fun Times

Mmm, peyote. Aarrgg-arr-gragrg.

It’s true, we like to have fun, but because of our financial situation and lack of entertainment resources, we have to make our own fun.

Our entertainment is heightened to an unprecedented level when we can play someone for a sucker at the same time. Not only is it a cause for gut-busting hilarity when you’re drunk or high or both, but if you can remember it happening the next day, it offers you a great story to tell for generations to come.

Rock and Roll

Metal bands scared the shit out of our parents in the 1980s. Thanks, Stryper.

Mamma didn’t have any listening rules for Rufus as I was growing up. By this time, we had the FM dial and two more radio stations. We ended up listening mostly to country, but occasionally we’d put on the 1980s pop radio station. Rarely did we ever have the dial turned to the rock radio station. By that time, rock had made the transition to noise.

Guns and booze

That ain't Nebraska but Nebraskan in spirit.

Like love and marriage, like chocolate and peanut butter, like incest and birth defects, few Nebraskans can live without their guns and booze. Most folks favor one over the other, but you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who hasn’t had their hands on both and done some damage.

Joba Chamberlain and the State Patrol

Can somebody get the State P a camera so they can stop taking mug shots with their cell phone?

Thesmokinggun.com, New York newspapers and that darn Freedom of Information Act is at it again, this time giving folks a unique glimps into Nebraska life: The DUI arrest. This one is more noteworthy than the others because it involves New York Yankees pitcher, and Nebraska native, Joba Chamberlain.

All the State Patrol vehicles have surveillance cameras inside them, and this particular camera caught a typically casual conversation between someone who ain’t been to The City (cop) and a fish out of water (Joba).

Day of Wreckoning

Practicing for that final pose.

Rufus realizes that he left something out during fire safety week last week: The end of my story. Just like a Nebraskan to just keep talking on and on without getting to the point.

Nebraska Fire Safety Tip 5

R.I.P. C.A.R.

It’s not supposed to be on fire, you’ve decided to put it out yourself, you’ve grabbed your shovel and called the fire every name in the book. But, the fire still burns. What do you have left for options?

That’s where the fifth and final tip comes in.

Nebraska Fire Safety Tip 4

That new-car-on-fire smell.

You’ve determined something is supposed to be on fire, you think you can put the fire out yourself and, to do this, you’ve grabbed your trusty shovel. Now, comes the easy part, something that will come naturally to you as you try to put the fire out.

Great Nebraskans: Malcolm X

Legends don't die.

Born May 19, 1925 in Omaha – What’s so interesting about a country of immigrants is how quickly they turn on others who are not like them after they’ve “got theirs.” Nebraska, like most of the states west of the Mississippi, is only a little more than 140 years old and was populated mostly by immigrants (well, immigrants and Indians), be they first- or second-generation, looking for that piece of land provided by the Homestead Scheme or opportunity in the way of jobs on the railroad. Yet, a land that is formed by people from all walks of life and becomes everybody’s (except the Indians’, of course) quickly transforms into a land that is everybody’s if you’re white. Such is the case with the family of Malcolm X.

Nebraska Fire Safety Tip 3

Who just won a sports championship?

So, you’ve determined that something is supposed to be on fire and that you might be able to put it out yourself. After all, the last thing anyone in Nebraska wants to do is inconvenience someone else with little things like this. What should you do next?

Nebraska Fire Safety Tip 2

Feel it, hot hot hot.

So, as you learned in yesterday’s tip, you must first determine that something is not supposed to be on fire before you put it out. But then what?

That’s where tip number two comes in.