Guns and booze

That ain't Nebraska but Nebraskan in spirit.

Like love and marriage, like chocolate and peanut butter, like incest and birth defects, few Nebraskans can live without their guns and booze. Most folks favor one over the other, but you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who hasn’t had their hands on both and done some damage.

Some of the fine folk of Nebraska like guns and booze so much that they like to enjoy both at the same time. The drinks of choice are usually whiskey and schnapps because these liquors fire up your insides to help keep you warm when the temperature is 2 degrees and you ain’t bagged your deer for the year. Of course, not all hunters drink, not all drinkers hunt.

A question from the readership, yes hello:

Readership: “Thank you for taking my question.”
Rufus “Junior” Hickman Jr.: “Sure.”
Readership: “I don’t understand. You can drink and operate a weapon at the same time? How is that legal?”
Rufus “Junior” Hickman Jr.: “Uh, in case you ain’t noticed, this is America, and we don’t legislate freedom.”

It is illegal to drink and have a gun if you’re on state land, but it’s straight-up illegal to drink on state land anyway. However, in small town Nebraska, everybody knows somebody who owns land that has wooded areas or a pond or land on the “river.” Because it’s private property, you can do anything you want on it, as long as it’s not “illegal.” If the owner says, “Don’t be drinkin’ on my land,” then you don’t drink. If the owner says, “Sure, you can hunt (or fish),” knock yourself out with booze. That’s what Jesus would want you to do.