It’s true, we like to have fun, but because of our financial situation and lack of entertainment resources, we have to make our own fun.
Our entertainment is heightened to an unprecedented level when we can play someone for a sucker at the same time. Not only is it a cause for gut-busting hilarity when you’re drunk or high or both, but if you can remember it happening the next day, it offers you a great story to tell for generations to come. Read the rest of this entry »
Child abuse can take many forms, from the perm to the mullet to the permed mullet, but by far, the worst form of abuse is the rat tail.
The reason Rufus despises it and loves it so much at the same time is because it’s a follicular “fuck you” to the world. These parents, these wielders of abuse, prepared for the haircut, took the sheers, cut 99% of the child’s hair down to the scalp and then made a conscious decision to leave a ridiculous strand of hair that will hopefully grow all the way down to his ass someday. Read the rest of this entry »
Whether Maynard (of Puscifer, Perfect Circle, Tool) has been watching Rufus or if great minds think alike, there’s no denying that there’s a connection – at least to Rufus. Of course, Rufus’s video would have corn and not cactuses, dogs and not coyotes and vultures and not pussy crows. And cows. Gotta have cows.
Robert Anderson with the computer of his day, standing over the old computer of his day.
(Born Nov. 2, 1920 in Columbus) Back in the days when people not only would buy a Chrysler but actually wanted one, Robert Anderson was one of the men responsible for mainstream spread of the take-no-shit, make-it-as-dangerously-fast-as-possible, include-questionable-suspension muscle car in the 1960s. Anderson was one of the creators of the 426 Hemi engine – the engine not only helped make Richard Petty a NASCAR legend, it also helped facilitate the rise of the gas station. You would burn through so much gas, each town needed to have a station just so people could make it all the way back home after a 30-mile road trip.
Metal bands scared the shit out of our parents in the 1980s. Thanks, Stryper.
Mamma didn’t have any listening rules for Rufus as I was growing up. By this time, we had the FM dial and two more radio stations. We ended up listening mostly to country, but occasionally we’d put on the 1980s pop radio station. Rarely did we ever have the dial turned to the rock radio station. By that time, rock had made the transition to noise. Read the rest of this entry »
Whether it's a steak or a vagina, Rufus will hit that.
We can eat steak for every meal. Steak and eggs for brekkie, steak sandwich at lunch (prime rib sandwich is the best), a pan-fry steak for dinner and a nice, fat choice steak with plenty of fat on it for supper (if you just got paid, splurge for the prime steak.) Read the rest of this entry »
Iowa and Nebraska really are similar as far as the land itself goes and what is grown from it. But, if brothers can go kill each other in the Civil War, Rufus reckons he can muster up enough courage to trash Iowa the way God intended. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Rufus 
